when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
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I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
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My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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