I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
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I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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