a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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