Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
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sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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