So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
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I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
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We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize