Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
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i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
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I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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