$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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