Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
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