Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize