Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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