im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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