if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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