so explain again why im purple
no
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
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How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
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He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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