Farmville is her only friend.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize