my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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