Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize