Banned from zoo.
Again?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize