She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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