all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize