You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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