i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize