glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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