her vagine was all disorganized.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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