apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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