He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize