your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have demons in me.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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