God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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