Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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