She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize