my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you never un-have a 4some
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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