I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize