my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize