Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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