sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize