she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
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we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
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WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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