if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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