Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
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I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
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I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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