we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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