whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
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we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
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I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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