I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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