dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize