i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Houston, we have a blender
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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