I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
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Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
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I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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