Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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