i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
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I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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