ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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