Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
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I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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