i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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