kristin has been a bad kristin
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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