Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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